I began to write yesterday and never finished. I saved as a draft, but because I am blogspot illiterate, I am not too sure where that draft went. So I do not want this to turn into a play by play on my personal life, but I am happy to report that it turns out I am crazy. I think too much, which is blatantly obvious to anyone or anything that has ever had the pleasure of my company :) Except the part of my brain that continues to believe that if I think, think, think, about something I might in fact be able to change the situation. Well, it is not true, and I know this.
I do not think that I have yet to completely sabotage the possibility of Guy 3, but I will get back to you when that happens. I recently went to a family function and was socializing with the cousins and such. In the last year or possibly two it seems as though some cousins always want to talk to my dad about me or my siblings having kids. I guess because I am the youngest and in my mid 20s and none of us are even close, these Irish Catholics find it crazy. I understand that our heritage entails reproducing like rabbits, but I am just not ready. Obviously you need the whole guy thing to be happening, but a part from that I am not ready. My dad looked at me and started telling me that my one cousin was in college for like 10 yrs or something and it wasn't until the last year that he met someone. Who is now his wife and they have since had three kids. Then he continued to say "So you see, it can happen" I responded with " I haven't given up hope" I guess some people around me are starting to. Either wondering if I will ever marry or if in fact I am not attracted to the male species at all. Sometimes I wonder, and I kind of toy with the idea of bringing a female friend next time, just to mess with everyone. No I am just kidding, with my luck they will be elbowing each other like 'see I told you.' And I do not need that.

So enough of that nonsense, I would like to talk about this morning. I love the fact that a little slip on the subway steps brings and immediate, embarrassing smile to my face. Hey a smile is a smile and I was laughing the rest of the walk to work. I am glad that I did not completely eat it. That could have been painful and a wet mess. For some reason I love the rain. I think it came from the gratitude I earned four years ago when I had no choice but to remain in the rain. Today it's like I can walk in the rain probably 2 to 3 hours straight without a problem, but only because I know that I have a place to go to get dry.
It also goes hand and hand with my gratitude for running water and the fact that today I have 24hr access to my very own bathroom and shower. These things may seem simple and pointless to the 'regular' person, but we really should not take such things for granted. I am going to have a flashback moment right now so bare with me..
I was on a stretch of dirt road with nothing around, no trees to take cover, nothing. The rain was coming down so hard that it was bouncing off of the ground. I was with one other person as we trudged on our route for the day. We were both in full rain gear from head to toe, yet our insides still felt water logged. It was later than usual that the lunch van came to feed us. After we got our sandwiches the van continued on to feed the rest of the group. In a matter of seconds I was glancing down to see the white bread, soggy and disintegrating on my fingers. The rain was bouncing off of us, including this soggy mess of a meal. I was devastated, I had waited 6 hours for this meal and it was gone. I looked over at my friend and he was staring at his hands too. We just looked at each other, with the rain dripping down our faces and just laughed. I mean what else could we do? There was nothing for miles. We were just hoping that nature would let up for a minute so that I could feel my swishy, soaked, legs to make sure they were still there. The weight was at times unbearable but I kept on, because I had to. My eventual shelter would be a tent, but there would be no escape completely. Yet it is one of the most memorable days of my life.

So I guess that I do prefer the rain. I like to see it anger people. I know that it doesn't sound nice, but when someone gets a little splash and they freak out, or someone is only running from the department store to their car and they are cursing the world because of a little water it;s actually comedic to me. I know it isn't right, and perhaps it isn't that I 'like' to see it. But I do find it ridiculous how people believe that it is the end of the world, when they are only moments away from returning to their Escalades with the built in GPS and movie theatre. I guess that I am just trying to bring to light just how much us people of privilege do take for granted.
I may actually go for a stroll after work and embrace the weather.
One of my cousins recently went to California and I asked him how his trip was. He said that it was nice, but he doesn't think he could ever live there. Everyday is warm and sunny, he wouldn't be able to appreciate how beautiful it was if it was always nice. That makes a lot of sense and I think ties into why I like the rain. Because I know that when it is sunny and warm again I will be able to fully appreciate it. As if this could not get any longer, I just received my Encouraging Word of the day through my email and I would like to share a little on it:

"A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones."
~ Proverbs 14:30

I actually do not think that this needs explanation, other than a grateful amen to that. That Proverbs, he's so smart.