It is crazy how in a blink of an eye everything can turn. I wish that something significant has happened, but it hasn't. Every 3 to 4 months I will have a day or two when every situation warps in my head to become the worst possible thing ever. And clearly it is not. I am trying to make a joke of it when I talk to some close friends because they know and I know that it will pass and it is meaningless. I even said today 'maybe it's just the holidays' which is not true at all. Immediately after I was like ' or I am completely using that as an excuse.' The holidays don't seem to get to me the way that they do with some. I don't slump into a bottomless pit of loneliness or despair. I kind of just go through the motions and wait for them to pass.
So anyway I have become an episode of Sex and the City today, clearly minus the Sex, but that is besides the point. I came home, very dreary day weather wise as well, with a pint of ice cream. I ate dinner had some ice cream and am about to cuddle up with a feminine book. Quick shower first because I didn't get that far yet today (I know eww gross) But I worked late last night and I slept in. Whatever I don't have to explain my self to you, computer.
So it just amazed me today that I was overwhelmed with negativity to the point that I feared to socialize with anyone. Mainly because I was plotting their murder in my head as they talked. (Obviously I am not a murderer, but apparently I only wanted to hear myself speak...in my own head today) Bad place to be. Tomorrow I plan on starting it off right. But I know enough to know that whatever I plan may not happen. If it doesn't that is when I need to control the ego a bit.
Today's lesson would be that I am not the center of the universe. And also, even when you know how ridiculously negative you are being, it doesn't stop until you through the positive in. Cause I know that neutral=stagnant and that also is a bad place to be, that's for damn sure. Thanks for listening computer.
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