The Time is Now

Life is too short to hold on to anger and lead with fear.

A friend of mine died suddenly of a Brain Aneurysm last Sunday. And today I ran into an old coworker who told me one of our favorite patients passed away today. I know in my line of work death comes often and usually in waves but it doesn't always make it easier.

I had an awakening last week when I got the call. I know that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow but I don't usually think that it's possible I could go at any moment. I have a tendency of acting out through silent scorn and harboring negative feelings for people who I feel have hurt me. I don't Hate anyone and usually when I am Hurt deeply by something or someone it's because I cared a lot about that person or situation which caused the amount and depth of the pain.

If I were to never see the people I encountered today, ever again, did I act as I would like to be remembered?

No matter the depth of pain or hurt or sadness I feel, I do not want to be remembered in that way..angry, hurt, and sad.

It is ironic that the call came the night after the discussion I had with my mom and aunt (see previous post).

My lesson from the past week is one I have been aware of for sometime. But when I get wrapped up in my own mind my perception of things like what is important and what is just nonsense gets diluted and I can start thinking I have problems. I do not. I am very lucky to have everything I do and most importantly the things that are unseen.

Life is too short. I started setting goals for myself, like a bucket list but we will call it a 5 yr plan.
1. Go to Ireland
2. Go to California
3. Become a Nurse
4. Run 3 more Marathons (5 Total)
5. Get an apartment or house with a yard
6. Finish writing my Book
7. Get a Dog

And well the list goes on, but I absolutely think I can do all of the above. But should I die today I would have no regrets. I am not afraid of dying, but I'm not quite done here yet. God's got some plans for me I haven't really got cracking on yet.

What am I waiting for? I think that is the question I need to keep asking. It's like that saying 'why put off til tomorrow what you can get done today?'

Because I'm a procrastinator. But something's need to change and Life on Life's Term is something that can rattle me enough to put in the effort.