I was just watching Ugly Betty and the episode was about her blog. About how the majority of people use their blogs to vent/bash other people. I def has one of those mornings at work...And I could fit this mold, but I don't want to. I remember the blog (dead journal) I kept in High school and years later I went back and was mortified at what I had written. I'm not going to lie I do keep hand written journals and I do have a completely private blog as well. The private blog is directed strictly to my love life, or lack there of. So I am sure it isn't hard to see where that one goes, hence the privacy.
I wish that I could say I was completely above all of that, talking about people and getting so angry the only release I find suitable is to pound away the hate on my keyboard. But I am not. Today I catch myself before it gets to that point. I do email a few good friends and give them the updates (complain) but they are my friends I know who will tell me how to live in the solution, IE pray on it, let it go, accept this the way it is, and so on.
I just wanted to write, simply because I love writing. I LOVE writing! I LOVE WRITING!!!
I was thinking about the future this week, weird ping pong style thinking. What if I had to change my lifestyle, move, or something. What would be the ideal situation? I want to Write. I Ideally I would be a writer and work on my own schedule,but work nonetheless.
I know that the movies, Never Been Kissed and Somethings Gotta Give, are two of my favorite movies, because the woman are writers in it. Also, it's the reason I started watching Sex and the City. I love quotes and themes and how life can be summed up in a few sentences. I love words and when I am in the zone, I think about words nonstop. Words, like twirling through my day and landing on a blank piece of paper, waiting to be surrounded by other words, so they can feel at home. Not that the first word is any less important once the rest are added, because it knows it serves it's purpose. This all sounds weird, I'm sure but I love it!
I have had a thing for brand spanking new notebooks, since I was a little girl. The crisp blank page with the barely there baby blue lines, waiting for the pen. I think there are less than 5 notebooks I have ever actually filled all the pages. I get to excited and buy another new one. And like a child, the new one becomes my favorite as the old gets pushed aside; vintage.
Every night I walk home from work and walk over the river. And every night I look to see what kind of a rowing day it is. If the water's calm, it's perfect. You can see the reflection, beautifully and I visualize the perfect stroke. When your oar hits the water at exactly the right moment, and you pull it through the water almost effortlessly. No words can explain the ease and perfection in the perfect stroke and ride of a shell. When the water is choppy, I think of the freezing morning practices in college and how we all got through it. We all made it through, no matter how cold or tired you were. The river is a beautiful asset to my night commute (a piedi) to la casa. Breathtaking..
Another week has come and gone, and February is among us. My life is happening, absolutely happening as we speak and fear gets kicked up at times. Why is life so fast? When will I settle? Will I settle? Have I started to? Where can I go next? Please don't get trapped...Just some thoughts and visions of my day.
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