Star Struck

Good Morning! Again it has been a super long time since the blogging happened. I tend to think 'well what can I blog about anyway?' but really if you have talked to me in real life, I can chatter on about pretty much anything on earth. So let me just start with the thought that today is going to be a good day. I went to bed way late last night, like a dummy, and tossed and turned the whole night because I thought I would oversleep. Well I laid in bed until almost 6, because I now take the late bus (comes at about 6:37a) and am ok with clocking in between 6:58-7:02a so far I have not gotten in trouble. Anywho, two weeks ago I over heard a patient talking about a book that she wrote, to another patient. So I googled it and it looked really good. It was about her journey with cancer, when she found out, through treatment, and her gratitude for life and God. Of course, I ordered it. It came in the mail a couple weeks ago. It was the day before I went to the ER when I had strep throat. When I was packing my purse for the ER, I packed her book, a word find, and figured my phone could keep me distracted the rest of the time. I read 90% of the book between the waiting room and then while waiting on the bed for the Dr to come by. It was only about the course of two hours but I flew through. I like books that make me feel accomplished, like that.
Today the patient came in, and I was practicing for about a week on how I would just nonchalantly mention that I eavesdropped in her convo, googled, and bought the book she told someone else that she wrote. I just flat out told her I over heard and then bought it and I showed it to her. She was flattered and thanked me. About 5 minutes later she came over and offered to sign it. She wrote me a little note on the first page <3 I know I am a big dork but it is just really cool that such a strong woman was able to write down her thoughts through such a difficult time and have them published. She wrote the book a year ago and since then the cancer has come back and she is back in treatment. She always has a smile on her face even days when she can not walk in herself. It is people like her that make me grateful for every second, and make me strive to find that strength and serenity in my daily life.
I guess today I did have something to write about. And it is only 8:15am.
I might update again to bore you all with my life details; school, dating, etc..

September Update

So Since the last post I took Psychology 101 and I got an A! Woohoo! My first A since I went back to school and I gotta tell you, it felt good! I had a week off from school and I went to FL to visit my brothers. I went with no agenda other then relaxation and I'm happy to report all went as planned, mostly. Sometimes I have the tendency of causing myself stress in situations that I can not control or at least ones that I can not change at that moment. I was getting phone calls when I was in FL about me moving when I got back to Philly and so I shut my phone off for good portions of the days, just to keep some peace of mind.
I came home right before Labor Day and packed up shop. Luckily I had my dad, cousin, my dad's friend, and my friend Andy who all had pick up trucks, come to help me move. I am still shocked at how much stuff I actually have. Now I am in the new place and I LOVE IT! It is such a good area, lots of stuff around. I think I am really going to like it here.
I started school the day after Labor Day. Tonight will be the 3rd class of Sociology, it's only on Tuesdays. My teacher kind of talks like Ben Stein but I grabbed a coffee in my commute last week and I think that helped. And I am also taking Nutrition online. That course is more then I thought. I log on basically everyday because we are working sometimes in groups and the Forums are kind of hard to keep up with if you leave it a couple days. I think the material it self will not be too challenging but logging on and staying on top of everything could be. This is my first online course so I am a little nervous about it. I just got my Internet and cable hooked up in the new place and am getting a desk soon so I will feel super productive in my work space :)
Life is going really well right now. I ran the Philly Distance Run on Sunday, which is a Half Marathon. I haven't been training for it because I honestly just didn't feel like it. I went out there with very few expectations, the main goal being just to finish. It felt so good not to be worried about time. It was fun! I'm not going to lie, I was sore the rest of Sunday and most of yesterday but I spent the majority of yesterday looking online to see which marathon or Half I want to do next.
Am I crazy? Possibly. But there is just something about the atmosphere that I love when it comes to races. Plus then I can eat like a pig after and not feel bad about it. I was riding my bike in the morning to meet Maggie and Annukka and I met a guy riding to the race too. He had run 48 marathons! He said he started running them when he was 33, and he did one a year. Now he is 58 and he did 7 this year. 7! What?! So you see I can always find someone a bit crazier then me, crazy but freaking awesome!
I got two guinea pigs from Tam and I love them! I haven't held them yet because I want them to get a little used to me first. The one, Lucy, is way more friendly and she got excited when I fed her yesterday. But the other, Patty, stayed in her little house until I walked away. Tam gave me so many things for them: a travel case, a travel cage, little play area, extra cages so I can build with the one we set up, the food and supplies, etc so they are a bit spoiled I think lol. Tam is awesome with her pets so I think if I just follow what she does they'll grow to love me too, or at least let me hold them. Side note: The Phillies are doing awesome right now! I went to my last game Friday night and they won against Washington 9-1. It was great. Ashley has some post season tix but her dad has the other ticket to the pair, soooo maybe there will be a game he wont want to go to come the playoffs.. Just Maybe..
Ive made my way to October baseball the past two years so lets hope that continues :)

2 days Left of 25

I looked on here and thought, wow maybe I did just update. Then I started to read the entry and realized it was a month and a half ago! So much has happened since. Well time has gone by, I passed my Class!!!! It was really tough and I honestly shed some tears a little bit in there, but I passed! I started my Intro to Psych class on Monday and saw my A&P teacher by the vending machine before. I think he was a little surprised to have me be so excited to have a C. There is no point for me to get angry about it, because it was tough and honestly Science is hard. But it’s interesting! Which I think is the difference between now and when I took it before, I care! My psychology class seems like it will be pretty interesting too, the teacher…well he looks EXTREMELY familiar. I think he might be my therapist from four years ago. I went home last night and tried to find something that had the name of my therapist but I don’t even know where to start. I only went a few times, but I really didn’t like that guy. I like my teacher though, just don’t know (even if it’s the same guy or not) if I would like him as a psychologist.

My brothers came home for the fourth of July, Sean is still home but Patrick and Boggs went back last Tuesday. It was great seeing them. We were in the parade in Berlin, played softball, went to Sea Isle, and ended with the Phils beating the Braves 3-1 it was a great fun packed weekend. Sean is not sure if he will be staying much longer but if so, I think we are going to have like a birthday lunch or something on Friday. I want to get my haircut and such.
Okay so I turned this entry into a Diary, I wanted this blog to keep positive lessons going. Let me be downright honest right now. I have three blogs…Not kidding, 3! One that is public about running, this one, and one that is private. The private one I started when I was a little…angry at the male sex and I have kept it up but not since Feb.. Not that I am hating on men but I just write about the stuff that happens.

Anyway, this was to be a positive blog about life’s lessons and not a minute to minute break down of my day, but you know what? I just changed the background to something cute and upbeat…I have about 2 followers who I don’t think will mind what I write about and it feels good to talk to something, even if it is just this computer.

Another idea, Ashley and I said in April was to keep a blog about the Phillies. I have def not done that so far. Maybe I can blog about the games I go to and add pics. That’s a start. I know way too little about the actual statistics of players to be commentating on anything really but I do have an opinion! That’s for sure.

My opinion? Chase Utley’s finger needs to heal ASAP! Jayson Werth Hot even though he knows it and that bugs me, Shane Victorino- I’d like to hang out with, grab a water ice- I think he’d be hilarious, Raul Ibanez- No matter what I always confuse you with Ruiz (Raul/Ruiz I cant be the only one), Ryan Howard keep smiling- you remind me of Shrek in a non horrible looking way, Jimmy Rollins- The world is not the same without you on the field, Roy Halladay I think I love you, Cole Hamels I would like to have you stand next to Keanu Reeves and have you do a mirror image exercise for laughs, Brad Lidge I know I Love you because you Love Linkin Park and Jesus!! Jamie Moyer, you’re old and I love it! Not in an I want to make out with you kind of way, but a cool uncle kind of way. Charlie Keep on Keepin on.
I know I left people out and for the most part that paragraph was gibberish but whatevs that’s my story and I’m stickin to it. Chance Out!

A Quick Summary

Today is one of the Rare days that I want to Blog. Time for a comeback??!! Quite possibly.
I started school last week and I am excited. Like I WANT to go to class. I have a test on Thursday but I have been semi studying since last week. I am more than halfway through the study guide. well I have more than half of the answers I should say. I remember taking a class in High school specifically about methods of studying. I hated that class. But for some reason I remembered that a good way to help with memorization is to write and rewrite the material. Since I absolutely <3 Notebooks, I have been writing in 3 different ones. I just bought a new one at CVS last night. I know that there are people who LOVE shopping or who have a shoe obsession but I LOVE LOVE LOVE Notebooks and the perfect pen!! Man I love seeing that fresh piece of paper, totally unmarked, waiting for some serious knowledge to be dropped, or letter to be written, or doodle to be made. Ahhhh...Notebooks
I do realize how unentertaining this makes me seem, but whatever dude I <3 Notebooks!!!!!

My friend, Jeff from college, came to visit this weekend. We were talking about the people we still had stayed in touch with and those we see what they are up to through facebook. I told Jeff about the pact I made with my other friend, Bob. We are each other's backup in case neither of us are married. We said 32, which is only 7 years away. And I am kinda hoping that he meets someone real soon lol because I just dont even know if I would be ready. It seems like a lot of people that are around that are my age are getting married or having babies. I am So so so far from that, which surprisingly I am okay with. I am nervous to write a whole lot on here because I am pretty sure anyone who has my email can find this blog...but I am just not ready. The guy I was just seeing was very much ready for things, big things, like moving in together..not immediately but I think he was hinting within a year or so..and I am just not ready. Again I know that it depends on the person and yada yada but Idk I really, like REALLY, like living alone A LOT and I am not sure I want to change that anytime soon. I am not but I just kind of got terrified thinking about it. Call me old fashioned but I feel like if you are living with someone, then what is the difference between that and marriage? I am 90% sure that I will get married before I live with someone...and therefore I may always live alone haha jk there's always Bob.
Ok enough about my fear of well everything..

So school...I really want to do well which is another first. But I do not want to stress like crazy over it. I stayed up last night until 11:30p just rewriting somethings and I think it is soaking in.
Oh and guess what?! I went for my first run yesterday since the marathon!!! I went 22 days without running!! That is a really really long time! But I ran I ran. I think the next chance I will have to run is Friday morning but maybe I will wake up early tomorrow or Thursday, we will see.
This week and next week is pretty sweet because of the holiday. I have four days of work, 4 days off, then 3 days of work, and 3 days off...Not a bad deal :)
Alrighty bloggy blog blog I will try to check you out at least one other time the next month but let's face it, every time I promise to write more...4 months go by! Haha K I'm done!

Dancing with Myself

Everyone dances and sings into their bathroom mirror right? It's like an automatic roll back to pre teens, jumping on my bed with my purple karaoke machine in my hand, yelling into the microphone. I recently decided to treat myself to a couple songs that brought me back to the high school, one day I will be on stage singing these songs, days. And this afternoon I put on my headphones and gave one helluva show to my bathroom mirror. I have a hard time believing that every one hasn't at one point or another done the same thing. So now I am listening to my fav songs on Itunes and writing about how I think this ritual is important. It makes my soul smile. I still like to pretend what it would be like singing on stage in front of thousands of people. I haven't gotten past my mirror but I'm my biggest fan anyway ;)

I spend a lot of time walking around the city. During this time, I always think about different ways to recreate what is happening. Either by writing or a movie or something to capture the moments of my life. I think a lot about my past and how I want to make it neat and organized and in one place; again paper or film. I know it sounds very self-centered to spend that much time thinking about my biography and the different ways to force on other people, but I think about different stories too. I blogged last night and am again today because I have to get back to the rhythm of allowing my fingers to do the talking. Putting all of the images and movements in my mind, into words..I am hoping this will force me to type more than one paragraph when I reopen the word document that I started over a year ago and was convinced that I would have finished it by last summer. My walk today I thought about finishing this project and the fear that it may take several more years. In actuality it should only take a few months to get it all out and possibly another two or three to edit. But with extreme ability to procrastinate I could easily turn that into 5 years.

My therapist asked me to come up with two goals, right after the New Year. I told her I wanted to finish, or at least spend a significant amount of time, more, on writing and I also want to go back to school. After that statement I said, well I am going to back to school...after the marathon. It is true that I have very little time to myself with training but I once again have found another reason to procrastinate. I have to make my dreams into reality and that means action not thoughts. You, my blog friend, are helping me get to that. I WILL open that document today. (In the back of my mind I am already thinking, well right after you run 5 miles, and do your laundry and dishes) There will always be something else, but I NEED to do it! I WILL do it! Ahaha!!! Ok thanks BFF... Life is good today, the fact that my big decision is when to run and when to write and not where is dinner coming from and where will I be sleeping tonight is a gift that words will never be able to express fully. Privileged problems, privileged Situations :)

Another day another dollar, another night another dream

I was just watching Ugly Betty and the episode was about her blog. About how the majority of people use their blogs to vent/bash other people. I def has one of those mornings at work...And I could fit this mold, but I don't want to. I remember the blog (dead journal) I kept in High school and years later I went back and was mortified at what I had written. I'm not going to lie I do keep hand written journals and I do have a completely private blog as well. The private blog is directed strictly to my love life, or lack there of. So I am sure it isn't hard to see where that one goes, hence the privacy.
I wish that I could say I was completely above all of that, talking about people and getting so angry the only release I find suitable is to pound away the hate on my keyboard. But I am not. Today I catch myself before it gets to that point. I do email a few good friends and give them the updates (complain) but they are my friends I know who will tell me how to live in the solution, IE pray on it, let it go, accept this the way it is, and so on.
I just wanted to write, simply because I love writing. I LOVE writing! I LOVE WRITING!!!
I was thinking about the future this week, weird ping pong style thinking. What if I had to change my lifestyle, move, or something. What would be the ideal situation? I want to Write. I Ideally I would be a writer and work on my own schedule,but work nonetheless.
I know that the movies, Never Been Kissed and Somethings Gotta Give, are two of my favorite movies, because the woman are writers in it. Also, it's the reason I started watching Sex and the City. I love quotes and themes and how life can be summed up in a few sentences. I love words and when I am in the zone, I think about words nonstop. Words, like twirling through my day and landing on a blank piece of paper, waiting to be surrounded by other words, so they can feel at home. Not that the first word is any less important once the rest are added, because it knows it serves it's purpose. This all sounds weird, I'm sure but I love it!
I have had a thing for brand spanking new notebooks, since I was a little girl. The crisp blank page with the barely there baby blue lines, waiting for the pen. I think there are less than 5 notebooks I have ever actually filled all the pages. I get to excited and buy another new one. And like a child, the new one becomes my favorite as the old gets pushed aside; vintage.


Every night I walk home from work and walk over the river. And every night I look to see what kind of a rowing day it is. If the water's calm, it's perfect. You can see the reflection, beautifully and I visualize the perfect stroke. When your oar hits the water at exactly the right moment, and you pull it through the water almost effortlessly. No words can explain the ease and perfection in the perfect stroke and ride of a shell. When the water is choppy, I think of the freezing morning practices in college and how we all got through it. We all made it through, no matter how cold or tired you were. The river is a beautiful asset to my night commute (a piedi) to la casa. Breathtaking..

Another week has come and gone, and February is among us. My life is happening, absolutely happening as we speak and fear gets kicked up at times. Why is life so fast? When will I settle? Will I settle? Have I started to? Where can I go next? Please don't get trapped...Just some thoughts and visions of my day.

Snow!

SNOWWW and more is on it's way!!!!

Happy Groundhog's Day!!!

Does anyone else kinda wish Phil would take a chunk out of the Mayor's Hand? Look at how he's holding him? Phil's thoughts right at this moment are "I hate you. Why am I here? Why are all these people here again? Seriously another year already? I just want to go back to sleep...for 6 weeks or so..Do you actually think that Top Hat is working for ya? The handlebar mustache, really dude? Put me back in my cage, butthead!" I am sure the 'animal is not in pain' just like when people grab cats from the back of their necks. But it just looks painful. You could very well cuddle with him instead of flaunting him like some trophy.. Alas, we live to see another 6 weeks of winter...I'm on to you though Phil, I know you are a sleeper and technically Spring starts on March 22 anyway..Or March 20th this year I think, not sure..Conveniently though I believe that is in...anyone? 6 weeks? Come on Phil!!! I coulda predicted that...Now go back to sleep, we'll see you next year.

Welcome Back :)

It has been way too long for an entry on here. I got busy, and a few other blogs. Today I am training someone at work. I am not good at training people, but hopefully it will go well. Last night I was watching Ugly Betty and she started her own Blog and it made me think, how little I have kept up with this. I currently have a running blog but that is solely my thoughts and status on my training. This is to dig a little deeper into me. I am a huge fanatic of quotes so I want to find a good one for today:
“Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand.” ~Chinese Proverb

Now if I can remember that amidst the 130 patients today and train someone...It will be a successful day.