Sometimes I wonder what people would do if they could really hear what I was thinking. Last week this woman was talking to me about what her company did, because I had never heard of it, and after the first three words my mind was off. It reminded me of one of Ellen's stand ups when she talks about not paying attention to conversations. And then you will hear a word and your like, wait what, and you wish that you were paying attention the entire time.
So anyway While I was watching her talk I was thinking "Waa Waa Waa Waa, he he hee, ok don't laugh out loud, don't laugh out loud, uhh is she looking at me weird. Oh no did she know I was just thinking about laughing, haha no no not funny" And that is how a typical conversation in my mind goes, when I'm bored with the person talking at me.
I had the chance to see two of my friends in Godspell today. It was really good, I hadn't been to a show in awhile and I forgot why I love it. The stage manager let me see their lighting and sound booth. It was nicer than the theatre I stage managed for last summer, although they had some pretty old equipment. It was kinda cold up there too, but hey they had a spotlight. Anyway, I wish that there could be an easier way to express ideas than to write them down. I have ideas about scenes from movies but I am not sure exactly how to put it to words, unless I reference other movies.
SO I am going to go ahead and vent about the Eagles. Like I said I did go to the play today which means I did not get to watch the game. But when I got back into my car I thought that the game would have been long over, but it wasn't. I heard the last two minutes of overtime and the final tie. It is just depressing. I do not want to give up hope on them, I won't but it is just upsetting to continue to see them lose. They are a good team, they just need to always remember that.
Since the last entry the Phillies have WON the WORLD SERIES!!! it was absolutely amazing. I was literally crying. As I stood there, at one of the happiest moments in my life, I started to think..
"Why is it that I am happier now, watching the Phillies win the world series, then I was in college when my crew team won a bronze medal? I mean I actually rowed in that race."
I guess it was the fact that this is the first year that I have continuously watched the Phillies, almost every game. I felt like I was a bench warmer on the team. And I have grown up a Philadelphia fan and this was the first time I have witnessed a team win it all!! I mean ALL!!
I do think it is funny that they call it the world series, when clearly the world is not all playing. I am totally not trying to judge, by any means, but its funny right?
So when I started this blog I was going to write about the lessons that I learn each day. Clearly I am not writing daily, but I do want to write about what I learn.
I know that every person has a gift. Some people settle with jobs or even with their partners, because that is what they think they are 'supposed to do' and they never really find their gifts.
I have learned(not just a one day lesson) that it is more important, for me, to find out why I am here. I am no mind reader and have no idea what my life has in store, which is why I will not allow myself to feel as though I am not where I am 'supposed' to be. I don't know where that is. It all comes down to comparing to other people. Like the fact that a lot of people my age are getting married or having children. Two years ago I was consumed with the idea that if I was not doing those things I would not be succeeding in life. Succeeding in whose standards. Today I am glad that I am not having a family. I am not ready. I may never be. But I will not waste today worrying about tomorrow or ten years from now. So that is my living lesson today. I am who I am, where I am today. And that is exactly where I am supposed to be.